Sabata yatha tidakambirana za makanema asanu owopsa omwe mungapulumuke, chifukwa, tiyeni tiyang'ane nazo, ambiri aife sitingakhale m'modzi mwa anthu ochepa omwe atsala ndi moyo kumapeto kwa makanema athu omwe timakonda. Sabata ino tikuwona gulu lachiwiri la mafilimu owopsa asanu omwe, chifukwa cha chidziwitso chanu cha kanema wowopsa, komanso nzeru, mutha kuwona mathero osangalatsa kapena mathero omwe simunaphwanyidwe moyipa, kudyedwa, kapena kubayidwa.

Achenjezedwe: owononga ochepa kuti atsatire:

The mphete (2002):

 

Izi ndizabwino kwambiri:

Mnzanga: Muyenera kuwona kanema wamisalayu!

Inu: Chabwino, nditumizireni kulumikizana.

Bwenzi: Ayi, ndi tepi ya VHS yodabwitsayi, yosadziwika bwino.

Inu: (Ndikuphulika kuseka) VHS tepi? Pepani Balki Bartokomous, ndilibe VCR. Sindikukhulupirira kuti mukadali ndi chosewerera tepi… chojambula chomwe chimagwira!

Mzanga:… eya.

Iwe: Ndiwe wankhandwe chotere. Oo, muyenera kubwera mukamaliza ntchito, ndangomva kulira kwatsopano kozungulira mu HDTV yanga ndi PS4. Osadandaula komabe, tiwonera china chake kuyambira ma 1980 pa Netflix kuti mumve bwino.

Zedi, bwenzi lanu lamwalira pasanathe sabata chifukwa chochita mantha ndi kusungulumwa, ukali, ndi nthomba (werengani mabuku anthu), koma mudzapulumuka chifukwa muli ngati ambiri akumayiko akumadzulo ndipo muli ndi ma disc okha. osewera ndi mavidiyo akukhamukira ntchito. Ndikuganiza ngati mudakali ndi VCR yakale, ndi ya zoopsa zomwe mumakonda zomwe sizili pa DVD/Blu-ray panobe. Monga Mmisili...(mukudziwa, chifukwa amayambitsa mantha).

Kuwala (1980):

Iyi ndi filimu yowopsa yomwe ambiri adzapulumuke. Mwa otchulidwa atatu, awiri a iwo amapangitsa kanema kukhala wamoyo, chifukwa chake tikuyang'ana, koyipitsitsa, kuwombera kamodzi kapena kumodzi kuti adutse Kuwala opwetekedwa mtima, koma osavulala kwenikweni. Komabe, pali zinthu zingapo zomwe zingakuthandizeni kuthana ndi vuto lanu ngati inu ndi amene Overlook Hotel ikuyesa kupenga:

Choyamba, ngati muli chidakwa chochira ndi ukwati wovutirapo ndi mwana wamwamuna wamng’ono amene akuwonana ndi dokotala wa zamaganizo chifukwa chakuti mwinamwake ali ndi ESP, miyezi isanu ndi umodzi yakudzipatula mwinamwake siliri lingaliro labwino koposa kwa inu. Kodi mukufuna kulemba buku m'nyengo yozizira? CHABWINO, kodi munaganizapo zokhazikitsa chipinda cholembera kunyumba kapena kugwira ntchito yomwe imakulolani kulemba zomwe sizikufuna kuti mukhale nokha? Mwachitsanzo, mlonda wa usiku pa fakitale ya nsapato; pali anthu ochepa omwe amathyola kuti aziba nsapato m'nyengo yozizira: masitepe olowera mufakitale ndi zitsulo ndipo alibe nsapato.

Tinene kuti mutenganso ntchitoyo (kachiwiri, mwachiyembekezo ndi ubale wolimba), bweretsani zinthu zina kuti muchepetse kutentha kwa kanyumba. Ngati tinyalanyaza zonse zomwe zingatithandizire kukhala oganiza bwino masiku ano, monga masewera apakanema, ma laputopu, mafoni am'manja, ma iPods, owerenga ma e- ndi zina ndikugwira ntchito zomwe zinalipo panthawiyo, omwe adapatsidwa nzeru amatha kuganiza zamtsogolo ndikubweretsa zina. mabuku a puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, zokonda, zaluso, ndi masewera a board. Kuwala ikanakhala kanema wosiyana kwambiri ngati banja likadasewera ma Dungeons ndi Dragons kawiri pa sabata kuti agwirizanenso:

"Tony akuti amaponya moto pa owl-owl"

"Zagunda zowononga 18, wachita bwino Tony"

"Zikomo, Bambo Torrance".

Kodi simukonda masewera a board? Onerani TV m'chipinda chanu chokhalamo ndikubweretsa VCR yokhala ndi bokosi la matepi kuti mugwiritse ntchito ngati mulibe chilichonse. Lungani. Chitani chithunzithunzi cha zidutswa 3000 za Universal Movie Monsters. Gahena, tenga skiing kudutsa dziko; ndikhulupirireni, ngati mutakhala mukusefukira m'mawa, ziribe kanthu zomwe Lloyd akunena, mutopa kwambiri kuti musaphe banja lanu.

Kupatula zonsezi, tinene kuti mukukakamizikabe ndi mizimu kuti muchite zoipa m’banja mwanu. Musanagwire nkhwangwa, ingogwirani ntchito kuti mupewe Chipinda 237 ndi mizukwa ina yomwe ikukukakamizani (kumbukirani zomwe amayi adanena: "Ngati akukukakamizani kuti muchite zomwe simukufuna, si abwenzi anu" ) ndipo kambiranani ndi anthu omwe mudabwera nawo. Apa ndipamene ubale wabwino umakhala wabwino chifukwa mutha kukhazikika mtima pansi ndikuyambiranso zenizeni popatula nthawi yolankhula nawo za zinthu zomwe mwachisawawa, monga momwe akuyenera kukupatsirani masewera otsetsereka, kapena momwe mumafunira zabwino zonse. bafa yofiira magazi ndi yoyera kunyumba.

Ntchito ya Blair Witch (1999) & Makanema Ambiri Opezeka:

Lingaliro lodziwika bwino la "kupulumuka mu kanema wowopsa" limagwira ntchito pafilimu iliyonse yowopsa "yopezeka" kunja uko:

Ikani. Kamera. Pansi.

Mumakhala othandiza nthawi yomweyo, ndipo 95% mumatha kupulumuka zilizonse zomwe mwakumana nazo, m'malo mokhumudwitsa iwo omwe akuyesetsa kuthana ndi vutoli. Zachidziwikire, mwina sizingakuthandizeni kukhala ndi moyo wopanda VCR, kapena kuphunzira whittle, monga kuyambira pano mpaka Blair Witch zinthu zingafune kuti mukhale oganiza bwino komanso luso loyenda molunjika, koma panthawi ina, ndi nthawi yoti muyike kamera kutali ndikuyang'ana kwambiri kutuluka m'nkhalango.

Kapena, tinene kuti mukupanga filimu ya zombie ndipo mwadzidzidzi kuphulika kwenikweni kwa zombie kumayamba (kachiwiri, monga ndinanena mu Gawo Loyamba, ambiri aife tafa chifukwa cha kuphulika kwa zombie, koma khalani nane pa izi): ikani kamera pansi ndikuyang'ana. pothandiza anzanu kukhala ndi moyo. Thandizani gululo kupanga zida, kumenya Zombies m'mutu, kapena ganizirani zolemba za 'zombie kill'. Kwenikweni, chilichonse ndichabwino kuposa kuyimirira mtunda wa 10 kuchokera kwa aliyense kunena kuti: "wow" ndi "chikuchitika ndi chiyani?" Kodi mukudziwa momwe mungadziwire zomwe zikuchitika, munthu wa kamera? Pochita zinthu. M'malo mwake, kwambiri osangopereka ukadaulo wakulozera zinthu ndikuwonetsa Zombies zomwe zikubwera kwa anu zothandiza kwenikweni abwenzi, omwe adzathana nawo kwa inu. Ndiye nonse muli ndi mwayi woti mutuluke amoyo kuposa momwe mungachitire ngati mupitiliza kujambula zinthu ndikufuula mawu omveka bwino.

Pamapeto pake, kwa ambiri a ife “kupita kukasaka mfiti” kapena “kufufuza mfiti m’nkhalango” tsopano ndi code ya phwando la m’tchire. N’kutheka kuti ophunzirawo anangosocherana n’kukwiyirana wina ndi mnzake chifukwa anaphonya wokwiya, ndipo amangokhalira kunjenjemera ndi ana oledzera omwe anazindikira kuti ‘ojambula mafilimu’wa akusowa phwandolo ndipo anasankha kuwaopseza kuti asangalale. chifunga choledzera, osakumbukiranso. Izi zimakhala zomveka ngati china chilichonse Pulojekiti ya Blair Witch.

The Exorcist (1974):

Mutha kupulumuka m'modzi mwamakanema abwino kwambiri (ngati sichabwino kwambiri) opangidwa motere:

Osagwidwa ndi Pazuzu.

Ganizilani izi, ngakhale iyi ikadali filimu yabwino kwambiri yotulutsa ziwanda, palibe, ndipo imodzi mwamafilimu owopsa omwe adapangidwapo, pali anthu awiri okha omwe ali ndi mizimu. Mmodzi yekha wa iwo amafa, ndipo wina wakufayo ndi wansembe wachikulire yemwe amayesa kutulutsa chiwandacho, chomwe mulimonsemo, mwina simungachite.

Pofuna kutsutsana ndiye, tinene kuti anthu awiri aphedwa chifukwa chokhala ndi Wotulutsa ziwanda. Chiwerengero cha anthu padziko lapansi chinali pafupifupi 4 biliyoni mu 1974, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti muli ndi mwayi wa 0.0000005% wakufa.

Mwambiri, muli ndi mwayi wabwino (0.000024%) wodyedwa ndi ma hamster olusa, a satana.

Ziweto Zanyama (1989):

Chabwino, mumasamukira m'tauni yabwino, yaying'ono ndi banja lanu kuti muchoke mumzinda waukulu ndipo mumachita bwenzi ndi munthu wamawu, koma bambo wina wachifundo yemwe amakhala mtawuniyi ndipo amakuchenjezani kuti kumandako kukhoza kukhala chinthu chauzimu (mukudziwa). , ndi mawu olembedwa molakwika omwe amawapangitsa kuwoneka ngati anthu) adakonza manda a Amwenye Achimereka. Zedi, mwina simumukhulupirira poyamba, kenako mumakumana ndi wakufa wanu, wophunzira wa zombie yemwe amakuchenjezani zomwezo.

Mwamuna / Mkazi wa sayansi ndinu? Zowonadi, simukukhulupirira zonsezi "mumbo-jumbo" zonsezi. Kenako tinene kuti mphaka wa mwana wanu wamkazi wagundidwa ndi galimoto ndipo mukuganiza kuti: ", zikuwonekeratu kuti manda awa a Micmac ndi malo oti awaike: onani zinthu zina zonse zomwe zaikidwa pano! Ndipo, ngati (kunyoza) kubwereranso kumoyo (kuwomba), ndiye kuti sindiyenera kugula katsamba katsopano ndikudziyesa kuti ndi Tchalitchi (ndilo dzina la mphaka mu Ziweto Zanyama)”.

Pabwino, mphaka adabweranso, ndipo amangokhala woyipa nthawi zambiri, ndiye sichoncho kwambiri zoipa ... ndipo tsopano ndili ndi mwana wakufa uyu…

Kodi mukuona kumene izi zikupita? Panthawi ina, mwina ndi nthawi yoti musiye kukwirira zinthu m'mandamo kuti muwone zomwe zikuchitika. Chimenecho ndi chiyani? Kodi palibe chimene chimachitika mutasiya kukwirira zinthu kumene zoipa zonse zimachokera? O chabwino, ndikuganiza mutha kubwerera kuntchito.

Pamapeto pake, ndikufuna kuganiza kuti munthu wanzeru ngati inu angavomereze kuti aliyense akukuuzani kuti musachite zomwezo zomwe zidalakwika kale kwa wina aliyense (kuphunzira kuchokera m'mbiri, kotero kuti simuyenera kubwereza) ndi chisoni chifukwa cha tsoka lanu ndi/kapena kusuntha. Kodi mukudziwa kuti kuli matauni ang'onoang'ono angati, okongola? Pezani ina mukakonzeka kuyesa ndikuyambanso. Kusankha tawuni komwe simudzayesedwa kusewera Mulungu ndikuyesera kuukitsa mwana wanu wakufa ndi / kapena mkazi nthawi zonse ndi lingaliro labwino.

Ngati simungathe kupitiriza mwayiwo; chisoni chako ndi champhamvu kwambiri, kapena wapenga pang'ono ndi chiyembekezo komanso chisoni kuti uletsedwe ndi mphaka yemwe amasunga omwe akuwukira anthu ndipo cholinga chako ndikupitiliza kuyika abale awo atamwalira mpaka mmodzi wa iwo abwerere ali bwino, chabwino. Osachepera mugule mfuti:

Inu: Ndinu oyipa komanso openga?

Wachibale wa Undead: Ayi

Inu: Ndiye mpeniwo nchiyani?

Wachibale wa Undead: I… made brownies… for you…

Inu: Ndipo ali kuti?

Wosakhalitsa Wachibale: Uhhhh…

* ZOYENERA *

Kenako mutha kuwaika m'manda kachiwiri ndikuwona zomwe zibwerere nthawi ino; zala zidutsa!

Ndiwo anthu onse 10! Ndidziwitseni zomwe mukuganiza pokhala ndi bafa yofiira, VCR (ndi zomwe mukuwonabe), kapena ngati pali makanema owopsa kunja uko omwe mukuganiza kuti mungapulumuke mu ndemanga pansipa.